Every now and then, you have a conversation that stays with you long after it’s finished.
A conversation that reminds you that success isn’t measured solely by what we build, achieve or accomplish, but by the person we become along the way.
A little while ago, I had the privilege of sitting down with my dear friend Brian Proctor to talk about his book, My Father Knew the Secret. While many people know Brian as Bob Proctor’s son, our conversation quickly became about so much more than that. It became a conversation about leadership, legacy, relationships and the quiet lessons that shape a life well lived.
Watch the full interview below.
What struck me most wasn’t another success principle or business strategy. It was hearing Brian describe who Bob was when nobody else was watching.
The world saw Bob Proctor on stage. Millions of people experienced his teachings through seminars, books and videos. Brian, however, experienced something entirely different. He experienced Bob as a father, as a friend and, later, as a business partner. He shared that they spoke five or six times every day and that the man people saw on stage was exactly the same man they experienced at home.
I think that’s something every leader can appreciate.
As our careers evolve and our businesses grow, there comes a point where success is no longer simply about achieving more. It becomes about creating a life that reflects the values we want to be remembered for. We begin asking different questions.
What kind of leader am I becoming? What example am I setting? What legacy am I creating for the people closest to me?
One story Brian shared has stayed with me ever since.
Every night before bed, Bob would sit beside him, place his hand on Brian’s chest and talk to him about all the good that had happened that day. Even if something difficult had occurred, he would help him find the lesson within it. Before leaving the room, he would remind Brian that he was capable of being, having and doing anything he chose in life. Brian reflected that, looking back, those simple nightly conversations quietly built his self-image long before he understood what self-image even was. Later, when he became a father himself, he naturally found himself doing exactly the same thing with his own children, telling them stories where they became the heroes and encouraging them to see themselves as strong, capable and kind. Today, he watches those same principles being passed on to his grandchildren.
It’s a beautiful reminder that some of our greatest leadership doesn’t happen in boardrooms or on stages. It happens in the ordinary moments that nobody else ever sees.
Another theme Brian returned to throughout our conversation was what Bob called the Impression of Increase. Of all the lessons his father taught him, Brian said this was perhaps the most important: leave every person better because they crossed paths with you. Whether you’re leading a business, raising a family or simply meeting someone for the first time, the question becomes, Do people leave your presence feeling more encouraged, more valued and more capable than when they arrived?
I believe that’s a question every leader should sit with.
One of the most moving parts of our conversation came as Brian reflected on Bob’s final months. Despite experiencing significant pain and discomfort, he said his father continued treating every person around him as though they were the most important person in the room. His circumstances never determined the standard by which he treated others. His character did.
To me, that’s where real leadership lives.
It’s easy to lead well when life feels easy. The true measure of who we are is often revealed when life becomes difficult.
Brian also spoke about why he felt compelled to write My Father Knew the Secret. It wasn’t to tell his own story, nor was it simply to add another book to the shelf. It was to preserve the side of Bob that very few people ever had the privilege of seeing; the father, the mentor, the friend and the man behind the public figure. Having worked alongside Bob for more than thirty years, Brian brings a perspective that nobody else can offer, and I think that’s what makes his story so meaningful.
Towards the end of our interview, Brian reflected on another lesson his father lived by: choose goals that are big enough to require you to become someone new. The kind of goals that inspire you precisely because you don’t yet know how you’ll achieve them. Those are the goals that stretch your thinking, expand your identity and invite you into your next season of growth.
It’s one of the many reasons I’m so looking forward to welcoming Brian to Australia for ELEVATE 2027. Over two days, you’ll have the opportunity to hear directly from someone who didn’t simply study Bob Proctor’s teachings – he lived them alongside him for decades. More importantly, you’ll hear from someone who continues to embody those principles through his own leadership, relationships and life.
I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Whether you’ve followed Bob’s work for years or this is your first introduction to Brian’s story, I think you’ll walk away with a renewed appreciation that extraordinary leadership isn’t built through grand moments alone. More often, it’s built consistently and intentionally – in the conversations we have, the example we set and the way we choose to leave every person a little better than we found them.
Secure your place at ELEVATE 2027 here: https://karenbrook.com/elevate
